THE POWER OF NETWORKING

Four Principles

By: Susan Haley

At, what seemed to me the very tender age fifty-five, my husband was called to ‘greener gardens’. With him, went the culmination of our lifetime’s sowing of seeds. In the weeds of our abandoned garden, I took up habitation under a metaphorical rock. Networking? That was something to do with the Big Three broadcasting stations. I was unable to communicate with my own feelings much less other people. Nor, did I want to. Life was now lived in retrospect. There were to be no more harvests, only the mundane activity of survival. And that, driven more by instinct than desire.

Yet equally driven to release the tempest inside me, I began writing with a vengeance. Written words poured on a page could scream of my despair, anger, my floundering. And, through their power, my healing. I learned then, the first principle of ‘networking’ is meeting and getting to know your ‘self’.

During the course of time spent residing in a web of weeded seclusion, venturing out only to perform the tasks of a job equally as dull as my existence, I authored countless poems, essays, dissertations on philosophy, and two books; all dredged from my very depths.

In writing, I found a peace in nature, its simple creatures, and the spatial and Cosmic wonders over my head. I reveled in the fury of storm clouds and thunder and the rainbows that often followed. I pondered the star trails, the wind currents, and the rising and setting of the heavenly orbs. The promise of an ever-new was penned every morning by the first fingers of dawn. I discovered my connection to God in the Universe surrounding me, and in the depths of my soul. But it was a solitary existence, and in the profound and oft-quoted words of John Donne . . . “No man is an island.”

With help and encouragement from a dear friend, there were now two published books. I began to wonder if others struggling in the rock gardens of life needed the outstretched hand of a fellow sojourner, albeit through written words. But, I’d need a vehicle to connect, to find them, or help them find me. I joined the Florida Writers Association because of its motto: “Writers Helping Writers”. I didn’t need the last word of that slogan; “Writers helping” was sufficient. I wanted to give, to share my work. And, I needed to receive. That, for me, is the second principle of networking . . . giving and receiving.

Encouraged by the President of the FWA, Dan Griffith, I soon found myself agreeing to lead a chapter in Sarasota County where none was active. Surely, I’d lapsed into a moment of insanity. Panic at the prospect of ‘leading’ anything that required standing before a group of strangers was overwhelming. Writers write! They don’t stand in front of people and talk! Oh, but they do. If they ever want to get read, they do.

The night of the first FWA meeting, I learned that if I’d take a step forward, others would do the same; they’d meet me in the middle. To ripple a pond, all one must do is throw in their pebble. Next, I started tossing pebbles into the ponds of other writing groups, assuring them we were all under the same creative umbrella. FWA wasn’t an invader of their independence, but a support net; its fibers reaching across the state and beyond.

It became apparent that the third principle of networking was doing something; doing, rather than waiting or expecting someone else to do it for me. It’s attending workshops and conferences, visiting bookstores and related places of business. It’s researching reading clubs, organizing events, becoming familiar with the local publications and media. Most important of all, it’s offering an outstretched hand, a smile, a welcome, a thank you.

I then discovered a fourth principle of ‘networking’.  Balance. It’s being willing to learn as well as teach, to listen as well as speak. It’s being a shoulder to lean on as well as seeking one on which to lean. It’s giving encouragement as well as looking for it. It’s attempting to be what others would wish to emulate and creating something others would want to use or share, or in my case, read.

In summing all of these premises into a package of principles, I’d purport that networking with others is quite comparable to networking with life itself. You, first, get to know yourself. In so doing, you discover and get to know your faith and the wonders around you.

Second, you acknowledge that in order to receive, you first must give. The old adage . . . what you give comes back to you seven-fold can be applied to anything from good manners to good business, from levels of success to levels of failure.

Third, networking is doing something. I’m not sure I agree with the other old adage that “all comes to those who wait” unless speaking of our demise. We do have to take responsibility in the creating of our life. To me, that is the meaning behind the ‘in His image’ teaching. It’s the tossing of your pebbles in the pond, the perpetuation of action begetting reaction.

Fourth, possibly most importantly, it’s imperative to maintain a balance between your expectations and your contributions. I’d say that this entire business of ‘networking’ is as circular as the Universe we reside in.


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